Ohnostroje, strielanie, delobuchy, demencia, diagnozy

Zistite svoju diagnózu podľa času, kedy púšťate prvé ohňostroje a delobuchy

Vedci prišli s novou metódou, ako môžete jednoducho zistiť, či je vaše psychické zdravie v poriadku a ak nie, sami si môžeze určiť svoju diagnózu.

Stačí sa pozrieť na kalendár a hodiny v momente, keď hádžete svoju prvú tohtoročnú petardu alebo používate akúkoľvek inú zábavnú pyrotechniku. Diagnózy nájdete nižšie:

Kedykoľvek pred 31.12: Úplná dezorientácia v čase a priestore spojená s ťažkou demenciou, jedinec ani netuší aký je deň. (niekedy označovaný ako úplný kokot)

Na Silvestra od rána do 12:00 – Jedinec so sklonmi k depresii a nízkeho sebavedomia, týmto spôsobom na seba skúša upútať pozornosť.

12:00 – 14:00 – Ak nie ste dieťa (na príklad Erik Kaliňák) a strieľate, tak ste zrejme nesvojprávny jedinec, ktorý má po zotmení večierku a už vás mama neskôr nepustí von.

14:00 – 18:00 – Nemáte čo robiť, doma ste nepotrebný a preto strieľate už teraz. Jedinec trpí pocitom zbytočnosti, nízkou inteligenciou a má sklony k samovraždám.

18:00 – 22:00 – Ťažký alkoholizmus. Viete, že o polnoci už nebudete pri vedomí, preto strieľate už teraz. Vyhľadajte pomoc.

22:00 – 23:59 – Netrafili ste správny čas, ale ste blízko, takže je šanca, že netrpíte vážnymi poruchami a ste len veľmi opití (možno už aj pošťatí).

00:00 – 01:00 – Super, strieľaním oslavujete najzbytočnejší sviatok v roku, ktorý vznikol vďaka tomu, že sme si vymysleli nejaký spôsob akým meriame čas a nejaký kalendár. Oslavujú všetci, tak aj vy. Priemernosť je vašou doménou.

Hocijaký iný čas – Nedá sa určiť diagnóza, ani sa to neoplatí.

Ak nestrieľate vôbec – žiadne známky porúch

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